Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage
- William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Archive for April, 2007
Here is another crop of eggcorns from the Eggcorn Database. Remember the eggcorn from a previous post? They are the fun little mistakes that actually work. In fact some like “deep seeded” work so well, they should be a straight replacement for the correct term “deep seated” which is more obscure in meaning.
deep seeded for deep seated - Iesa Galloway, Houston Executive Director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations said the questionnaire was “rooted in deep-seeded ignorance of the religion of Islam and the Muslim people.” (Fox News, January 19, 2005)
defunked for defunct - On Saturday Eden will be having a tribute to the recently defunked club Soundgarden. (Taipei Times, Aug 26, 2005)
day in age for day and age - We’re in the day in age when you’re looking at the radio stations playing a lot of hard rock, rap and bubble gum pop music.
dilute for delude - “No, it comes from plain, simple spite. Spite, caused by people who think the average Mac user is some sad, diluted fool who doesn’t “know any better”. (Capitalist Lion, June 24, 2003)”
crutch for crux - The crutch of the matter is to abstract the real world problem to the point where we have all possible states of all variables in the equation.
Still trying to find those naughty WMDs? Well, look here.
Just days ago, GT’s Chief Cheddar correspondent Rowan wrote this comment in response to our request for a fave song.
I think mine must be the Monster Mash by Bonzo Dog Do Dah Band / Bobby ‘Boris’ Pickett a mad song from the sixties.. I just think its funny and obviously composed through that weird world of LSD. Even funnier that the BBC banded it cos it was too morbid
Well, sadly we announce that Bobby Boris Picket died Wednesday of leukemia just a few days after Rowan’s comment.
He was considered a one-hit wonder - the Guy Lombardo of Hallowe’en - yet his brilliant song Monster Mash wouldn’t go away. It kept coming back over and over. It’s first appearance was 1962 and it reappeared every year at Hallowe’en, reaching the hit parade in the seventies.
Even Bob Dylan liked the tune.
RIP Mr. Pickett. Everyone loved ya and it was great to know ya.
No one is more surprised than this typist to hear how good the new CBC Radio arts program is sounding. Q is hosted by Jian Ghomeshi weekday afternoons at 2 pm on Radio 1.
Launched a couple of weeks ago, the show covers the arts, entertainment and popular culture. Being CBC its focus is (and should be) Canada, but it doesn’t limit itself to these borders. Q replaces the very lame Freestyle which replaced something even lamer a few years back. Q is intelligent and engaging without trying to be too hip, as Jian seemed last summer when he hosted Sounds like Canada for Shelagh Rogers.
I’ve only heard bits and pieces thus far but everything has been interesting and entertaining.
Yesterday, Q featured a piece on why Canadian satirists don’t measure up to those in the US (ie Rick Mercer vs. John Stewart or Colbert Report vs. Air Farce). Toronto comedian Rebecca Addleman argued that Canadian political satire seems lame and stale next to cutting-edge US shows because Canada is muzzled by defamation laws take a “guilty until proven innocent” approach. As a result Canadian production companies are scared away from biting political satire and stick with soft “Canadian humour” like Corner Gas and Little Mosque. You can see Addleman’s article in the present issue of Walrus Magazine.
Recently segments also included the new urban-hipster trend of wearing the keffiyeh, the black and while scarf that represents the Palestinian struggle. The piece explored the appropriation of political symbols by fashion, and the appropriateness of a Toronto hipster wearing the revolutionary symbol to be cool.
The show is new and can be forgiven for a Southern Ontario focus thus far. With time it should get out of Toronto into the into the rest of the country.
Imglish is a real-time language. Often you’re back and forth with someone on another computer or mobile phone. It’s important to let the other person know when you are leaving so as not to leave them hanging. My favourite sign-off is ttfn or ta ta for now, a Britishism in circulation long before the days of instant messaging or mobile phones. Here are some more IMglish sign-offs. Notice how some are abbreviations while others are distilled phonetic versions* of the phrase.
BBBG - bye bye be good
CUL8R - See you later*
CYA - See ya*
CU - See you*
BBIAB - be back in a bit
BBIAS - be back in a sec
BBL - be back later
BBML - be back much later
BCNU - I’ll be seeing you*
Every blogger knows the thrill of checking their stats first thing in the morning and seeing more hits than usual. (GT averages 150-200 hits per day with spikes on Fridays.) But what happens when you see hundreds of hits more than usual?
This very thing occurred this morning. What was going on? Well, if ever there was a time for one of the new words in the 21st century lexicon, this was it. GT was “spidered.”
Spiders are search bots that review blog content. The good ones are welcome because they alert search engines like Google. But the bad ones get up to no good, and go up one side of your blog and down the other for purposes that don’t always work in your favour.
Not only does it warp your stats, it also chews up precious bandwidth (which recently landed GT in trouble. This, BTW, accounts for the dramatic drop in images on this blog - I’m working on a Flickr solution to the problem.)
The spider in question is called Linkwalker 2.0. A quick Google search indicates that is indeed a naughty bot that doesn’t follow the proper search protocols. It is used to search blogs for brand names. The information is then sold to clients who are seeking this type of information.
Not surprisingly, GT hasn’t yet received a thank you letter from the companies that are helping themselves to my bandwidth to enhance their sales intelligence. In the meantime I’ve banned the IP address (209.167.50.27) and I’m posting this to warn everyone else.
Insights on this vexing problem are welcome.
Sometimes an old word just won’t do. And sometimes the old word just doesn’t exist. Sometimes language evolves because it has to. And other times it evolves because it’s more fun to say nastygram than rude letter.
Nastygram - a letter/notice of slightly obnoxious content - it seems usually used in reference to spammed copyright infringement emails, but seems to be going into wider usage. (cheers to TagBagger for this one)
murfing:This one has several meanings. The most recent usage to surface means “mobile surfing” or surfing the Web using mobile phone, etc. An older usage is “mindless surfing.” Then there are those musicians who use Bob Moog’s MuRF device to give them new sound effects.
EFIGS:English, French, Italian,German and Spanish. The mnemonic is often an option in computer games, indicating you can play in any of these languages.
literatisement:An advertising product placement embedded in books, short stories, etc. Just like they do in TV. So beware the next time your book’s hero is driving a Lexus, the author may be on Lexus’ payroll. Ah, the plot thickens.
shoot ahead of the duck: Think ahead. Plan. You have to aim where you think the duck will be, not where it is when you pull the trigger.
mandals - Sandals worn by men – frequently with socks.
You can’t even call these bloopers or flub-ups because they came from Philip, the Duke of Diplomacy. He will have meant every racist, bigoted, stupid thing he said - from the bottom of his heart. You’ll notice that Canada is one of his favourite targets. Canadians should be honoured.
1. To a driving instructor he met during a stroll in Oban, Scotland: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them past the test?”
2. On Chinese eating habits:”If it has four legs and it’s not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies but it’s not an airplane, and if it swims and it’s not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.”
3. When talking to British students in China, he joked “you shouldn’t stay here too long, or you’ll turn slitty-eyed”
4. Said during a severe recession in 1981:”Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they’re complaining they’re unemployed.”
5. Insulting Canadians during a royal visit:”We don’t come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.”
6.Insulting French Canadians during a visit to Toronto:”I can’t understand a word they say. They slur all their words.”
7. To grieving residents of Lockerbie, Scotland, during a 1993 visit after a plane exploded and crashed into the town, killing everyone on board and several people on the ground (and shortly after a fire swept through ONE wing of Windsor Castle):”People usually say that after a fire it’s the water damage that’s the worst. We’re STILL trying to dry out Windsor castle.”
8. Comment when someone suggested in 1967 that a trip to Russia might improve diplomatic relations between Great Britain and the Soviets: “The bastards murdered half my family.”
I declare this thing open - whatever it is.
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, opening a new annex at Vancouver City Hall
Mine is “Heroes” by David Bowie. What’s yours?
“Heroes” is a song about two lovers who meet at the Berlin Wall beneath an exchange of Cold War bullets. They know their relationship is doomed because they are from opposite sides of the wall, yet they find a way to seize the moment and extract the joy.
The lyrics are ambiguous (some say improvised) but for me “Heroes” is a song about passion and optimism. But it’s not a misguided optimism. It’s practical - heroes, yes, but just for one day. Perhaps this message of practical optimism is the reason a 1977 song has stood up so well over the years. If you can find passion and optimism in the ho-hum reality of the everyday, the song seems to say, if you can find a way to block out forces over which you have no control and take the moment like the two lovers, then you are truly inspired, a hero.
The other reason “Heroes” makes my top-song list is, of course, musical brilliance. The song is based on a simple chord progression that builds with intensity, gradually reaching a driving thrum that spools and spools, tighter and tighter until Bowie’s voice cracks, and in that moment the raw human passion spills out creating a sensation that exceeds the sum of the music and the lyrics. Without fail, that sensation makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Very fews songs can produce such a response. “Heroes” is a pop masterpiece.
You’ve heard of mixing your metaphors. Well, how about blending your idioms: That book was a real “page-burner.” Or “I guess that’s how the cookie bounces.”
An idiom blend isn’t a mixed metaphor or a malapropism, exactly. It’s the union of two similar phrases to make a third phrase. For example:
Page turner + barn burner = page burner.
Or
That’s how the ball bounces + that’s how the cookie crumbles = that’s how the cookie bounces.
A man called Dave Farber compiled a list of these terms eponymously called Farberisms. Typists love these things and it’s this typist’s guess that those who look at typists’ blogs might also get kick.
We need to rein in our horns.
A problem swept under the table occasionally comes home to roost.
From here on up, it’s down hill all the way.
Don’t look a charlie horse in the mouth.
He’s cornered on all sides.
I don’t trust him farther than you can bat an eye.
Remember when packing your bags for a weekend trip away was a simple process of getting a bag, chucking in an extra pair of pants, clean socks and fresh underpants? Oh those were the days.
Today you need experience working in Future Shop in order to locate and assemble all the technology you will need for your two days away. There’s your mobile phone, your laptop, the digital camera, the iPod, the Gameboys, the DS, the PSP and all their pint-sized game cassettes.
And once you find these things, you’re just getting started because then there’s the peripherals: the charging-up cords, memory cards, battery chargers, the USB downloading cords, back-up storage devices because a computer knows when you don’t have your back-up storage device and it will hold it against you.
By the time you get everything located, sorted out and packed, you’re ready to wrap one of those cords around someone’s neck. Go here for more on this modern weekend packing ritual.
Rumour has it that the Prince William and Kate Middleton bust-up has to do with class. He’s a royal; she’s a middle class gal who uses the word “toilet” which is considered very middle class.
Well, everyone, including the royals, has a bladder and everyone occasionally has to empty it. But what do you call the room where you go to do your business? Everyone does not answer this question in the same way and the word you use says a lot about who you are.
A. The toilet - widely used except in America where the word not a room but a fixture; considered middle class.
B. The loo - British, working class.
C. The lavatory - British, posh.
D. The water closet or WC - widely used in Europe and internationally, but not in America
E. The bathroom- standard American* (As non-Americans often say, “are you going to have a bath?)
F. Restroom - American restaurantese (Are you going to have rest?)
G. Can - American slang
My personal favourite term for this room is the fouling suite.
What are some other words for this room?
*Canadian usage is the same as American
More examples of the English language interpreted by those who speak other languages. Remember, people of a different sex, no sleeping in the same tent in the Black Forest unless married for purposes of sleeping in the same tent in the Black Forest.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.
In Germany’s Black Forest: It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men & women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.
An ad by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
A Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.