Archive for May, 2007

Reveal yourself flower fairy!

Published May 31, 2007 in odd things. 3 Comments

So I’m outside tonight admiring the Blue Moon, when something strange catches my eye. It’s in the garden. It’s, it’s flowers! A profusion of them. In MY garden.

Huh? How could this be? Flowers in my garden? Lots of them? Tulips and begonias and other flowers I can’t name because I don’t know enough about flowers. I’m a garden nincompoop.

I planted 80 tulips last fall and only 5 came up. And now my front garden is blooming with flowers, fake flowers. Some loving soul has planted fake flowers in my garden.

Bless you. Bless you. Bless you.

Now, reveal yourself!

The Great Canadian Mullet

Published May 31, 2007 in CBC Radio. 7 Comments

Hooray to CBC for it’s excellent segments on the Great Canadian Mullet. The pieces aired on radio yesterday and today on Sounds like Canada.

This content is perfect for radio. It’s funny, self-deprecating and wry. And it’s so very Canadian. You can listen here  and here.

CBC needs more Great Canadian Mullet celebrations and less of the overly sentimental superlative fest we’re getting with the 7 Wonders of Canada. Yawn! Please make it stop. Now.

Once in a….

Published May 31, 2007 in Uncategorized. 8 Comments

Blue Moon!

It’s today, May 31. There are a number of definitions for the Blue Moon. Tonight’s falls under the two-full-moons-in-one-month definition. The first full moon was on May 2.

In this stenopool, the Blue Moon is special because one of the little typists was born on a Blue Moon, Jan. 31, 1999.

Here is a list of full moon dates.

  • July 31, 2004 — Second full moon in July
  • August 2005 — Third full moon in a season of four full moons
  • May, June or July 2007 — Second full moon in May, June or July, depending on time zone.
  • May 2008 — Third full moon in a season of four full moons
  • December 2009 — Second full moon in December
  • November 2010 — Third full moon in a season of four full moons

The little rhubarb patch that thought it could

Published May 30, 2007 in slack woman. 4 Comments

It’s been jumped, walked over, dripped on with bright blue paint, built on and picked into submission, a yet, that little rhubarb patch refuses to quit.

Not even the weeds can grow in that spot, but year after year without fail that thing sprouts as if to spite.

It should not be alive, but it will not die.

i-CBC does its bit for the i-Phone launch

Published May 29, 2007 in CBC Radio and Canada. 3 Comments

I am so glad that CBC radio took a good 2 or 3 minutes of its World at Six newscast to bring us the Canadian perspective on the product launch of the year.

I mean, let’s face it, there really wasn’t much news coverage of the iPhone launch, was there?

The CBC is doing Canadians a huge service by giving us the “ground zero” perspective on the the line-ups, the frenzy, the hype in New York today.

It’s important for publicly-funded Canadian news organizations to dedicate resources to the marketing efforts of corporations like Apple.

And it’s even more important for publicly-funded Canadian news organizations to do so when the iPhone will not be available in this country for months and months.

I’m glad that my tax dollars are being used to support the product launch road map of the Apple Corporation. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over to know that I am personally helping Steve Jobbs market his line of i-products.

Air Canada gives all Canadians a bad name

Published May 29, 2007 in travels. 9 Comments

A Scots friend who has clocked many miles on many different airlines has an interesting theory on Air Canada, which he rates the bottom for service and attitude.

He points out that Air Canada uses a political symbol - Canadian maple leaf flag - in its brand identity. As a result, Air Canada becomes a symbol for the national identity of Canada. Ergo, Canadians get smeared whenever time an Air Canada flight attendant is rude or abusive. Canadians also end up wearing bad vibes that are produced when passengers are asked to pay full-fares for no-frills service, like charging for blankets and soggy sandwiches.

He reckons Canadians should sue Air Canada for malicious defamation of the Canadian character. Class action suit, anyone?

Make hockey stop and make it stop now.

Published May 29, 2007 in CBC Radio and Canada. 3 Comments

Every morning this week the CBC radio broadcast has lead with hockey. Hockey this and hockey that. Hockey here, hockey there. Hockey up to the eyebrows.

People, hockey is over for the season. It’s summer now. Get out. Enjoy the fog and rain, if you’re in Nova Scotia. But you have to move on. There are other sports out there you can follow and even enjoy. Get over hockey just for a couple of months.

I’m not saying ban hockey coverage although that is tempting given the recent excesses.

I’m just saying get a grip. OK yes, lead with Sydney Crosby’s prizes. He is a sports superstar, not just a hockey superstar. He deserves top coverage in news and sports.

But you can place the rest of the hockey second or third or fourth on the sports roster and we will live. And for the record, more Canadian kids play soccer than hockey. And more of them definitely play soccer in summer.

So please, enough with the hockey.

Crocs, monkeys and iguanas in Costa Rica

Published May 28, 2007 in photos and travels. 15 Comments

Click on any one of the photos on the left sidebar and see some shots of last week’s Costa Rican adventure. Or view as slideshow here.
No time for Photoshop corrections on this run.Will tweak later.

We can draw lines through words, but why?

Published May 28, 2007 in blogs and words. 23 Comments

In this 21st-century post-modern era, we do things because we can.

Watching a movie on an iPod, for example. I CAN do this on my iPod, but why would I want to see Pirates III on a 2 by 2 inch screen when I can watch it on a 42 inch screen, for example? Ditto all that other media we’re going to be receiving on our cell phones. Yes, we can but do we know or care why?

Here is another thing we can do. We can write blog posts with lines through them like this. I see this all the time. One word, two words or sometimes an entire paragraph or post? We can do this, but can anyone tell me why. I’m serious, what does it mean when a post is lined out.

Failure in the tulip garden

Published May 28, 2007 in slack woman. 5 Comments

What happens when you break the Commandents of Neighbourly Gardening Etiquette? You know the rules

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s tulip bulbs

Thou shalt not copy thy neighbour’s garden plan

Thou shalt not wish evil upon thy neighbour’s tulips

What happens if you break them is that you get punished. And your punishment? Planting 80 tulip bulbs in the fall only to have five of the cursed things turn into tulips the following spring.

Go here for the tale of the broken commandments and the failed tulip bulbs

Spam Spam Spam Spam

Published May 28, 2007 in blogs. 8 Comments

Lately, GT has been receiving forty to fifty comments per day, virtually all of them complimentary. Here’s a taste:

From Ralph: I am very impressed how you can build webpages! Please also visit my site:

From Franklin: Great looking site so far!! I’m just starting to look around it but I love the title page! Would you please also visit my site?

From Katrina: Hey bro! Well Done! Visit my sites, please:

Wait a minute? I’m not your brother, Katrina. I’m not even a brother.

From Lawrence. Nice guest book. Nice webpage, lovely, cool design. Please also visit my site:

Hey! I don’t have a guest book either! What is this? Who are you people?

Well, these are the spammers, of course. They hit my work email too although the pitches are usually a little different. Here, the offer a saccharin compliment and then hit me with a litany links to useful things like member enhancement drugs just what I needed, polyphonic ringtones, just what I need2, more noise, carisoprodol huh?, prozac oh right, that, a cheap tagheuer replica watch just what I needed 3, plastic surgery maybe I should consider? auto loan calculator is it free? health care coverage live in Canada, no thanks and videos for violent lesbian sex oh, brother! Some messages contain ten or twenty links, other close to hundred, maybe more.

I could go on, but you get the picture. Spam is the online mosquito that buzzes around your blog whether you like it or not.

My spam catcher Askimet filters these messages so you won’t have to read them but every morning I face a litany. I just have to hit the delete button and they’re gone. Sometimes real commentators get caugh, like Deepti did yesterday.(You’re out now, Deepti)

But given the sheer number of these things, you have to wonder if one day in future we won’t wake up to discover that the entire Internet is locked up to a tsunami of spam. And I’m not so sure that day is so far off in the future, either.

New lows in high flyin’

Published May 27, 2007 in travels. 9 Comments

Ahhhhh, you know you’re back in Canadian territory when

1. you board Air Canada and dare to ask the air hostess for a newspaper and she sneers back at you and says “See all the happy-faced people up there (in first class)? They got the papers. I have no more left.”

2. When you ask the Air Canada hostess for a blanket and she tries to charge you for the privilege. $2 people. For a blanket. On Air Canada. Dress warm next time.

3. When you ask the air hostess (same as #1) for a drink which you now pay for because they are no longer free. A half hour later, still with no drink, you go down to the air hostess galley and find her sitting down eating. When you ask after your drink, she sneers up at your and informs you she’s had a 7 hour day and needs to eat and you will get your drink when she’s finished.

All of this would be acceptable on a no-frills flight. But Air Canada charges you the full whack leading you to believe you are getting full service. But no. It’s full fare charges with no-frills service. And at Air Canada they throw the sneer in for free!

Ahh, it’s great to be back in Canada.

An iPod in the eye

Published May 26, 2007 in odd things. 8 Comments

OK, so I’m in Photoshop bootcamp this morning when I notice a faint tinny sound.

It was coming from the little white buds of the iPod which accompanied me on my walk to bootcamp.

I unwrapped the iPod in a hurry, hoping that the Photoshop sergeant major wouldn’t see. But somehow the cord got stuck. I yanked it and the little white bud flew up and hit me - right on the surface of a wide-open left eyeball. An iPod in the eye. Ouch!

In the past I have slagged off the Pod people and the whole fixation with everything i.

Well, today the iPod (and all it’s followers) got revenge. Poetic justice. Pod-etic justice.

And my eye still hurts like hell.

 

The other side of the Photoshop touch-up

Published May 26, 2007 in beauty. 3 Comments

Of course, the stick insects are altered, painted and brushed by the Photoshop editors. But this particular stick insect lost a navel when Playboy Photoshoppers were altering her curves. (Perhaps angles and bones would be a better choice of words.)

One can only wonder how such a mistake was not noticed but it wasn’t, and the magazine went out with the babe in all her navel-removed glory.

Over 650,000 copies were sold that month much to the consternation of many buyers who were annoyed by the blatant faking of the scantily clad bodies.

The lack of a navel is creepy enough, but even more bewildering is the idea that men really do find the skin-pulled-over-protruding-bone starvation chic look sexually appealing? If this is true, men, please explain.

Howler Monkey vs. Yard Ape

Published May 25, 2007 in travels. 10 Comments

Woke this morning to the unmistakable laughter of the howler monkey, mono conga in espanol. Ooh! Ooh! OOOOOOHHHHH!!! Their howls can be heard up to a thousand metres away in the jungle. Saw and heard many of these large prehensile-tailed creatures in the jungle two days ago, but their laughing cries pierced the highly humanized environs of our hotel room this morning. Perfecto! 

The Ooh! Oohs! of the howler are distinctive but can sometimes be mistaken for the sounds of its  North American cousin the Yard Ape. This creature can be found in bars and on the streets in urban and rural environs.