The dirt on personal ads: you’ve been warned
Cats: IMglish|Here are the Gifted Typist, we value good typing and clear communication. We don’t like slippery weasel words that try to candy-coat and mislead. In this spirit we give you some translations for words you might find in personal ads. As it turns out fun doesn’t always mean fun. We’ll start with women’s personal ads first. Tomorrow we’ll move on to men.
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What it says |
What it means |
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40-ish |
48 |
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Adventurer |
Had more partners than you ever will |
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Athletic |
flat chested |
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Average looking |
ugly |
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Beautiful |
pathological liar |
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Educated |
college dropout |
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Emotionally Secure |
medicated |
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Free spirit |
does drugs |
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Fun |
annoying |
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New-Age |
all body hair; all the time |
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Old-fashioned |
lights out; missionary position only |
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Open-minded |
desperate |
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Outgoing |
loud |
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Passionate |
loud |
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Poet |
depressive schizophrenic |
May 8th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Robust and currently misshapen,
easily panickedenergetic and delightful, I am interested in string, furniture, and crocs sandals.May 8th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Full figured = Diabetic
Romantic = Delusional and materialistic
May 8th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Tanya, you are so deep. I’m jealous.
Dick, I’m dying to know how you would describe yourself in one of these personal ads.
May 9th, 2007 at 7:02 am
Man. Manlike. 105kg, 185cm. Smoke, drink, and toke. Looking for woman. No fatties (full figured diabetics), no kids (ex-husband).
(I would be more explicit, but they charge by the letter!)