Gifted Typist

The cat you see in left margin is called Cheddar. Cheddar is named after the Village of Cheddar. The cheese is also named after the village of Cheddar. I love all of these Cheddars and right now I am lucky enough to be in the village of Cheddar for the next few days. Cheddar is [...]

So a typist arrives in London on Friday morning for an excellent UK Christmas. And what does she find? This breaking news: Airport staff and security at all major airports including Heathrow<a href=”http://www.eigeneer.com/beste-speilautomat-tipps.html”>speilautomat</a> sehr schnelle Auszahlungen und sehr hohen Spass, wenn Sie hier spielen wollen. vote to strike. Major disruptions expected on rail lines. Motorways [...]

Go here for column. Ask yourself: When was the last time you found yourself dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh? Or roasting chestnuts over an open fire? Or dreaming of a white Christmas when you have to travel to so-and-so’s mother’s for presents in the morning and such-and-such’s father’s for dinner in [...]

OK, Time Magazine has named Russian President Vladimir Putin as its person of the year. Now, will somebody pal-lease tell the CBC radio announcers to pronounce the man’s name correctly. It’s Putin with the T, not Poo’n like CBC announcers seem to think. A couple of months ago this typist accused the CBC of lazy [...]

Not long ago, this typist faced the challenge of getting a couch down a small stairwell into the basement. The only way to achieve this was get a sectional sofa. But what kind of sectional do you choose when there are so many available. Here is the result of my research into this matter  The [...]

Many of us on the Eastern seaboard of North America and in central provinces and states were pounded by a pre-winter snowstorm. Here are some musings on shovelling the snow. A recent snowfall sent the typist out to shovel. And as she bullied the slushy sludge into submission, she got to thinking about shovelling and [...]

A couple of weeks ago this typist lamented the lazy journalistic cliche “Christmas came early this year…. when so and so got his such and such blah blah blah.” Well, didn’t Christmas turn around and come early for this typist. As planned the little typists woke up early and we all rushed downstairs in the [...]

See column here. There are moments when Christmas seems more like a stint in Guantanamo Bay than the Christmas songs you hear on the radio. Comfort and joy? Ha! I realized this the other day while standing in “the line-up that had no end.” I did not want to be in the big box and [...]

One of my favourite seasonal activities in sending and receiving Christmas cards. I love finding an envelope in the mailbox that is not: a. a bill b. a pitch from a charity I’ve never heard of c. a tax-funded newsletter from a politician who wants to let me know all the things she/he is doing [...]

No. Really. Take off, boys. I know this could get me hauled up before a committee investigating Un-Canadian Activities, but I never got the whole Bob and Doug MacKenzie thing. They were the two dim-witted, beer-drinking, lumberjack-shirt-and-tuque-wearing fellows who made the word “hoser” a household word in Canada in the 80s. Their SCTV sketch Great [...]

And given the choice, I’d dump the school Christmas concert to see…. Led Zeppelin at London’s 02 Arena. They were playing tonight. I hope the school Christmas concert is worth it.

It’s goofy, crowded, poorly lit and long. The singing isn’t always tuneful. The dancing can be poorly choreographed and the newly -formed Grade six band often sounds like a dying cat trying to hum Christmas carols. The seats aren’t comfortable, the view is bad and the lead-up is stressful as you try to find smart [...]

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she needed one or not. Brendan Behan, Irish writer

Re-gifting is so yesterday. You get a gift, re-wrap it and give it to someone else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know about that. Even CBC’s done panel discussion on re-gifting. So what comes after re-gifting. Well, me-gifting, of course. What you do is make the special person in your life think you are thinking [...]

This typist clocked a time of 42.3 seconds in the 50-metre freestyle this week. This was a long-course time, meaning there was no flip-turn and push-off at the 25 metre mark. It was just a straight run up an Olympic-sized pool. Considering my arms felt as though someone had attached bricks to them, it was [...]