Jan 18
Snow: there’s more than just one kind
Cats: slack woman|See live column here.
If you live in the northern part of the eastern seaboard of North America, you will know that storms can be very indecisive. They seem to wring their hands in despair over whether they should be a wet or powdery or a blizzard, or freezing rain.
Because they can never make up their mind, they often dump a little bit of everything on you. So in the interest of helping you identify these different forms of indecisive snow, I’ve listed them.
Follow column link for a description of, among others:
marital-disharmony snow
put-your-back-out snow
groin-injury snow
must-invite-my-neighbour-with-the-snowblower-over-for-a-drink snow.
January 18th, 2008 at 9:22 am
How about the dreaded Drift Snow. (also known as sneaky snow). You get up in the morning, check snow accumulations in your area on the TV. 2 cm. Good! Wont be much shovelling to that. So out you go with your shovel and you have the idea you dont even have to fire up the old snowblower. WRONG!! When you open the door, about a foot falls in on the hardwood floor, and your driveway has variable amounts, from 0 snow on 1% of the driveway to 3 feet on 99% As you gaze around you notice all your neighbours drives have blown clear and they’re happily smiling on their drive to whereever. Meanwhile you contemplate getting to where you’re going in about 4 hours, if the snowblower can handle the 3 feet. Drift snow can also lead to marital disfunction, mood swings, psychoanalyst bills, etc.
January 18th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I wouldn’t know a thing about snow. I’m from Texas.
January 18th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
omp, you would be known as the “loser shoveller”
Thinker, we on the northern and eastern seaboard can only wish
January 19th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Here in the driest place in the country we are often blessed with snow that squeaks when you walk on it. And because it is so deprived of water content, it is surprisingly easy to shovel. Of course we do still have those cracks in the pavement that throw your spine out of whack, and also the downside of living in the driest place in the country – moisturiser bills that will put you in the poorhouse.
January 19th, 2008 at 9:25 am
BB, I was going to put squeaky snow in but we so rarely see it here… I love the sound of the squeak as you walk over the freezing cold powdery squeaky snow.
January 19th, 2008 at 11:44 am
I’m not sure that that with all those types of snow, that you’re not just giving us a “snow job”
January 21st, 2008 at 7:10 am
OMP, Why did I know that was coming?
January 21st, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I here you should not eat yellow snow!
January 22nd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Rowan, you hear correct!