A tonic for VD sufferers
Cats: Uncategorized, odd things|Are you choking on a diet of force-fed Valentines Day sentimentality?
Are you drowning in a tsunami of witless schmaltz that crashes over you every February 14th?
Are your teeth hurting from saccharine commercial pitches that fail to tug your heart strings?
Are you having disturbingly vivid fantasies about bludgeoning Hallmark cupids?
Do you scan dictionaries searching for a Bah Humbug! equivalent word for this time of year?
Do you want to set fire to people who wish you “Happy Valentines Day.”
If you have one or more of these symptoms, then I’m afraid that you have VD.
It strikes down many good a person at this time of year. You can spot a sufferer by guilt-laden postures and eyes that are glazed over with sheer boredom. You may also see them running about buying things at the last minute for fear of what will happen if they don’t.
My heart goes out to fellow VD suffers. I don’t have the cure, but here is a temporary tonic to get you through the next few days.
Good luck and stay well. It’ll all be over on Friday.
February 12th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Valentines Day used to be traumatic for me during junior high and high school…I think the whole thing should be eliminated and turned into a winter holiday for everyone.
February 12th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Hehe, I like the card about the cat wee!
February 12th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
My favourite was “You’ll do”.
February 12th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Deepti, here here. The sooner the better.
Deepti again, someone actually sent me the one about the cat wee.
H n P, I laughed out loud at that one.
February 12th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Ha brilliant! I loved the cat wee, you’ll do and the slutty lingerie best.
The thing that makes me scream the most about VD are those blasted jewelry commercials. I don’t want your crappy baubles!
February 13th, 2008 at 3:17 am
There is some teddybear commercial playing on The Military Channel every 5 seconds, and it’s about 10 minutes long. So anoying!! I want to get back to watching about the invasion of Panama, and operation “Just Cause”, no freaking valentines day commercials on The MILITARY CHANNEL!!
My neighbor told me the most appaling thing the other day. She said that she makes sure that she buys her three daughters flowers on valentine’s day, because she wants them “To learn that they should ALWAYS get flowers from SOMEONE on Valentine’s Day.” Wha-Wait-WHAT?!?! They’re 5, 7, and 8!!! So wrong on so many levels.
I’m sending the “bolocks” one. I like that word.
February 13th, 2008 at 3:56 am
Barb, I was looking at the GD VD baubles in an ad on the front page of the paper today. DEATH TO THE BAUBLES!
MdG. Well that about says it, doesn’t it? Bollocks is a delicious word and should be manditory on VD.
February 13th, 2008 at 5:13 am
I stopped watching TV in November, and haven’t been bombarded by commercials for Christmas OR VD this year. Boxed sets, everyone!
February 13th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Boxed sets of what? What’s good these days?
February 13th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I’ve had VD; penicillin is the cure; 10 days; not recommended.
VD is for people who don’t love their spouses, and for kids. :-0
February 13th, 2008 at 9:29 am
I’m against all the stupid holidays, even Xmas, I’m afraid to say.
Rowbear and I don’t do gifts for each other, even on birthdays. If you want something, go buy it. No pressure. I’m going to check out that site you have now.
Over.
February 13th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Hmm, well, I’m just about finished Six Feet Under in its entirety. I’m thinking of starting Heroes next.
February 13th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Dick, that is so true. VD can be a convenient stand in for the real thing.
Espanya, thank you for the Anti-VD card. I too wish they would just give us the day off and forgot all the other junk.
Deepti, already saw SFU. May I recommend Flights of Concord, a NZ TV show that is v. funny.
February 13th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
The only good thing about GD VD this year is I am spending it with Anne Boone!
February 13th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Yeah – I agree Deepti – the Cat Pee one has GT written all over it.
More boxed set cures for VD?
1) The Shield – Micheal Chiklis (of The Commish) as you have never seen him before – superb acting, excellent cast and stories, and each season a guest character – Forrest Whittaker, Glen Close
2) Weeds – suburban mom /drug dealer comedy
3) My So-called Life – a one season wonder from the nineties – teen/parental angst (only problem is it seems sometimes too much like our so-called life)
4) Buffy the Vampire Slayer – the ultimate boxed set to fall back on – Parents/Puberty/High School/University re-imagined as a Vampire comedy -Truly great TV, and needless to say, the pinnacle of Sarah Gellar’s acting career
Remember – avoid VD tomorrow…
February 13th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Nanc! is he in town tomorrow?
TagBagger, yes, I am destined to be the odd-ball old lady with the WWII bicycle, the riding goggles and the 32 cats living in the one-bedroom apartment above the curry spice store.
thanks, that looks like some great watching – love Weeds.
I’ll be sure to avoid VD tomorrow.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:32 am
Yes!
He lands from CB some time this afternoon…. we must make a plan for drinks!
February 14th, 2008 at 9:14 am
My Valentine is two states away, so I’m feeling a bit grumpy and bitter today. Lucky b*tches, getting all sorts of flowers here at the office.
But happy VD!
February 14th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Nanc, see you tomorrow for drinks
Beth, that’s a drag, but I sent you something.
February 15th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I’m glad VD is over with again. Other stupid “days” that should be eliminated: Teacher Appreciation WEEK (I appreciate them all the time; they get paid well. Do we have to slobber all over them for a whole week??) Secretary’s Day, hate it, people should be thanking them every morning and night for all the crap they have to put up with, not just one day.
Just sayin’.
February 15th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
YAM, I could not agree with you more. These are Hallmark holidays, designed to first make you feel indebted somehow and then to run out and balance you debt with a card.
As for Teachers appreciation week… is there an odour of NSTU on that or what?
February 23rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
My funny anti valentine. Tanya sent me one which I loved.
February 23rd, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Dale, I’m in love with the anti-valentine movement.