Weekly column: the civil war
Cats: slack woman|Go here for live column.
There are two sides in this war: me vs. me
On one side is the noble cause of me needing to earn a living. As you know, I’m a typist. My troops are my fingers, and by extension, arms, shoulders, upper back. My artillery consists of a keyboard, a mouse and a flat-screen computer.
On the other side are the rebel forces who have attacked and occupied certain muscle groups in my upper back, neck and shoulders. They are causing tension and pain.
It’s ugly, this war, and I’ve had to call in reinforcements – the lumbar support cushion. I’ve also called up the reserves – the massage therapist, Epsom salts and various heating pads.
There are new tactics too: 15 minute computer breaks and regular yoga stretches.
My troops are growing tired and weary but we soldier on. Because that is what typists do. They keeping going.
February 29th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I was experiencing some sympathy twinges while reading about your embattled troops. Perhaps you could type whilst lying flat on your back? Just suspend the computer from the ceiling Mission Impossible style and you’re all set.
February 29th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Two words for you, GT: rum ration
A half pint, twice daily. It has proven an effective tonic for lonely and angry men (whether they be at sea or no), so surely it’ll work for tense typists.
I’m off to “tap the admiral” right now…
February 29th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
George Orwell:
“The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.”
Same quote modernized and contextualized:
“Get voice recognition software”
February 29th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
two words : “voice recognition”
February 29th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
BB, no really, you are reading my mind. How many times did I think of that these last few weeks.
FP, two letters for you: OK
Dick, thank you. I’m looking into it
Chance, thank you. I’m looking into it.
March 1st, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Voice recognition software. That sounds brilliant. Sure hope you are able to find something that works outside the rum ration! How does one slur their speech on the typewriter?
March 4th, 2008 at 10:26 am
I am fighting this same civil war. I am afraid that no matter what happens, I will be the loser. But I hope you win.
March 8th, 2008 at 12:49 am
holly, I literally feel your pain. Yoga, I’ve recently discovered, has the answer.
toccata, brilliant! I can’t wait to try that rum and voice recognition