Apr 08
Yellow belt, purple belt, brown belt
Cats: odd things|They all live under the roof of this typist.
They graded (and double graded!) the other day in Shotokan Karate.
So anyone who even thinks about breaking into our house should be on notice. Unless it’s that cute Aussie in American Idol – he has special dispensation to break and enter at his leisure.
This typist started training as a white belt awhile back, but stopped when it became clear that Shotokan Karate also involves kicking and punching.
Rather than snapping to defensive postures, this typist recoiled into a “I want my blankie” posture.
And thus ended my Karate career.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Yeah, I can’t do the martial arts either. Can’t I just have some pepper spray?
April 8th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I don’t even wear a belt, so I would be racing you to the fetal position.
April 8th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I don’t know karate, but to quote Barney Fife, my whole body is a weapon. I will go medieval on your ass if you don’t stop e-flirting with MY Aussie.
April 8th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Damn you GT! I have not watched American Idol all season…till you mention the cute Aussie…and once you watch it once….well..your hooked. It’s like cocaine… You know you shouldn’t…..but you can’t help your self!!! Damn you!
April 9th, 2008 at 6:12 am
Deepti, yup, it’s bear mace for me, I’m afraid.
BB, I’ll send you a tin of bear mace.
BeckEye, I have a feeling that your words could also serve as your weapons as well. Umm, what if the Aussie is e-flirting with me. Will you go all medieval?
Nanc, sorry to lead you down the wrong path after your season of virtue. Now’s a good time to start watching as they’re getting down to the last few
April 9th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Hey guys I don’t like to be the fly in the ointment, but Oz Meat looked like Jack Sprat’s wife is winning … looking like those California cheeseburgers are starting to take their toll … gonna be needing a new wardrobe or some liposuction. I suppose it will help if he opts to parlay his success into an opera career … I can see the headlines … “Oz Pav” makes (big) splash!!
April 9th, 2008 at 10:16 am
That said, lots to hold on to I suppose!! Like riding a jello kangaroo!
April 9th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Oh Man, Togs, you’d better hope that BeckEye doesn’t see that. She’s pretty OCD for the old Oz burger.
Personally, I think it’s all muscle.
Jello Kangaroo!!!!!
You’re just jealous!
April 9th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Guess I need to get my cats into a karate class so I’ll feel safe at home …
April 9th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
The martial arts are of great interest to me. They are simply ‘warring’ arts, and would include, in theory, how to effectively use pepper spray in defending oneself.
If you can kick someone in the nuts…that’s a martial skill (that too could save you a lot of grief).
So don’t pretend that martial arts are beyond you, just find what works best for you. I’m no hard bodied martial artist, but I know how to protect myself. If I chose pepper spray as my preferred personal protection, I would make sure that it was easily accessible and that I had practiced in its deployment. It won’t do you much good if you spray yourself with it.
If you are saying that you don’t know how to defend and protect yourself, then you risk becoming another unfortunate statistic.
BTW, kudos on the skill advancements typiteers!
April 9th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
I only feel safe when there’s bread around.
April 9th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I am a purple belt I am a purple belt I am a purple belt I am a purple belt I am a purple belt I am a purple belt yyyyaaaayyyyyyyyy!
April 9th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I like men with some meat on their bones. And if THAT is fat, then please, give him another Twinkie. He looks awesome.
April 10th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Beth, perfect. Your cat could practice the karate Catas!
Dick, I never got into it for the self-defense. IT was for the poetry. I love the katas. If that all there was to it, then I’d be a black belt. But alas, there is the sport, aspect which is the flighting. And yes, I agree, pepper spray is your martial art when being attacked from behind in a dark parking lot
Dale, yes, especially if you get the hardened stale stuff that inhabits my breadbox. Deadly stuff that
Purple Belt, congratulations. You looked amazing.
BeckEye, I’m with you sista. Give him a box of the things!
April 12th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I’m seeing cinematic posibilities-
INT. A LARGE HOUSE – NIGHT
We see a suction cup on a window, then a glass cutter works around it and the glass is pulled out. A black-clad arm opens the window and a ninja floats in. The ninja takes four steps and a flood of lights come on.
A disembodied voice that seems to come from everywhere, startles the ninja
Gifted Typist: Fool, you dare to enter the Dojo of The Typist??? You will be crushed like the bothersome fly that you are and then fed stale bread that came from the bottom of the pantry.
April 14th, 2008 at 11:43 am
WP, that wins this months “comment of the month” by a long shot. Thank you. I’m chuckling at the imagery. (I watched that Jackie Chan flick on the wk/end – something? 3. Hilarious.
April 15th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
“WP, that wins this months “comment of the month” by a long shot.”
Does that come with an emblem ala’ Becky’s “Firecrotch Of The Month?” ; )
Which Jackie Chan flick, “Forbidden Kingdom?”
April 15th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I’ll get right on that, WP
We saw Rush Hour3 but Forbidden Kingdom is out any minute now, if it hasn’t been released already. Love the Jackie Chan tongue in cheek stuff.