Gifted Typist

… for the whole damned summaaaaaa!
Yeeeehhaaaaw!
This circumstance is the result of a lining-up of the planets that has been approx. 20 years in the making.
Without getting into the details (no, I haven’t won the lottery), the feeling is akin to that of a mountaineer who has just summited Everest after a 20-year climb.
No kidding.
More details [...]

See my Herald column here.
It’s true. Those big supersized sunglasses are not your friend when you have a smallish head.
Just look a Posh Spice when she wears them.
Poor Posh. Here she is thinking she looks so stylish when really, they make her look like a house fly. I’m sure she never meant to project the [...]

Back by popular demand: the GT Imglish series.
Instant message + english = IMglish.
As the world gets faster and comms devices get smaller, IMglish helps us navigate the language and the world. It also helps us to spy on our children.
If a typist wishes to remain relevant and gifted, it is important for her to [...]

There is a big smoking hole left in the world of comedy with the departure of Mr. Seven-words-you-can-never-say-on-TV. And just looking at some of George Carlin’s zingers makes you realize that it’ll be a long time before that hole is filled.
He was one sharp observer and bad-ass comedian.
Here are 50 classics from the man. I [...]

In my ambulance-chasing days as a cub reporter and photographer, I used to rush to many accident scenes, some involving cyclists who were crushed and/or killed by motor vehicles. These memories have stimulated a fear that I would call evidence-based. Others have called it irrational.
Which ever side of that coin you may fall, you will [...]

See my Herald column here.
Step aside Sex and The City. Those girls have nothing on the pigeons.
Walk though a park these days and behold the public displays of  pigeon sex.
They just do it right in front of you, with no respect or regard for their privacy or your right to a peaceful sex-free walk in [...]

I’m not normally one to make a hero out of someone, but if I ever had a hero, this guy would be it.
He died 25 April at 86. And somehow I missed his passing. I must have been busy that week and didn’t tune into BBC Radio 4 as I normally do. But when I [...]

… now let’s talk about my paper cut.
Friday the 13th was not just bad luck for my sister and the 5000 others who were evacuated from their houses to escape a raging wildfire. It was also a day of calamity for me. I got a paper cut under the fingernail on my left index [...]

My sister is safe.
Her house is safe.
Two houses across the street burned to the ground and the entire neighbourhood is in shock and smelling like smoke.
But everyone is back home again.
They were saved by dissipating winds and by Herculean efforts of fire fighters who protected the houses from a two-day wild-fire that licked at the [...]

Just outside my city, four thousand people have been evacuted due to fires that are burning out of control.
And four of those four thousand include this typist’s sister and her family.
The RCMP ordered them out of their house on Friday afternoon. With five minutes notice.
Two houses have been destroyed across the street from their house, and [...]

See this week’s Herald column here.
Trust me, cat obesity is no laughing matter.
When our little darling was declared obese a few months back, we decided that our cat Cheddar needed to make a few lifestyle changes. It was time for Cat Watchers.
But making lifestyle changes and convincing your cat that this is a good idea [...]

Put away your flattening irons, people.
Say bye bye to shining, shimmering, sleek.
Think big, back combing and bee hive.
Think 80s hair bands, mousse, and heavy-hold spray.
Think Dolly Parton.
Think whatever you want. Big hair is back.
Angelina Jolie, Liz Hurley, Amy Winehouse. They’re all wearing it.
Even the hairdresser of this typist tells me that big hair is beginning [...]

CBC TV have let the iconic Hockey Night in Canada theme go. To their competitor CTV.
If ever there was an institution that united this big country, it was the Hockey Night in Canada theme. For the past 40 years, it opened and closed CBC hockey games. Many of us grew up with it on Saturday [...]

Need I say more,
other than that is 86 F.

… but Rogers is not.
That was the situation this morning when I logged on to pay my bill.
Because I’m on a personal campaign to slay the rip-off dragons of the Canadian cell phone industry, I take every opportunity to stick a needle in their eye.
I signed onto their website this morning after they phoned yesterday [...]