this is not blogging; this is typing
,,, just as nature abhors a vaccuum.
And the new CEO of telecoms company Bell Canada wins the gag-me-with-a-rototiller award for inane management speak
Announcing the lay-off of 2500 jobs, CEO George Cope said:
“It’s obviously most impacting to those pople who will not have work with us going forward.”
Huh, George? Most impacting? Going forward?
Don’t you mean: “it’s a real bummer for all these people are losing their jobs?”
…you over hear your 11-year old daughter humming the tune of Led Zeppelin’s D’yer Mak’er.
It was a hit in ‘73 that predated my rock n roll listening days, but I did later find Zep and D’yer Mak’er became a fave and the album Houses of the Holy also became my fave. (Close tie with Physical Grafitti.)
D’yer Mak’er sounds like “Jamaica” and “did you make her.” Think a British Caribbean accent and you can hear it.
It’s based on a joke:
“My wife’s gone to the West Indies.”
“Jamaica?” (D’yer Mak’er)
“No, she went of her own accord.”
So, my 11-year old is humming to the tune of a rock classic. That makes me a proud and worthy mother,no?
Now, if I could just get her to clean her room.
I clicked.
The clocked ticked. And tocked.
I clicked and clicked and clicked.
Then I got ticked.
I dumped the computer, rushed down to the ticket outlet, and Elton John was sold out.
The problem was the box that kept coming up saying “tickets not on sale.”
But they were on sale.
I’ve since been told by people who have written to me that I should have refreshed my browser.
Moral to the story: stale browser = no Elton John.
Boo hoo.
Thurs, 24 July, is the anniversary of my birth.
XX years ago, and all that….
But this one is no biggie
No cause for big celebration or moving speeches.
No reflection on the landmark achievement of reaching XX.
No reason to get excited or melancholic.
Just another year ticking by.
Sort of nice just to have a low-key day.
Emergency water ready. Check.
Lots of non-perishable food in cupboards. Check.
Spare batteries. Check.
Flash lights and radio. Check.
Emergency booze rations. Check.
Powered-up laptop for blogging in dark. Check.
OK Tropical Storm Christobal. Hit me.
Mosquitoes, horse flies, deer flies, moose flies and any other airborne insect that bites and gives me itchy welts.
They have no respect. You leave a door opened and they come in.
And then they start grazing your flesh and sucking your blood. Vampires!
But I have the ultimate weapon.
The fly swatter. And I WILL use it. Oh yes, dear flies. That last bite you take from me could very well end up being your Last Supper.
And then I will have the last laugh.
What bugs you?
To the indie heads amongst you, Elton John may seem a bit naff, like yesterday’s pop star.
And in many ways he is. He hit his zenith in the early 70s with hit after hit after hit. What a fine legacy he and lyricist writing partner Bernie Taupin have left behind.
I saw Elton John once at Wembley Stadium in London in one of those day-long events that also featured sets by Bonnie Raitt and Eric Clapton. His show was a high-octane, action-packed, stampede down memory lane. I was exhausted by the end of it.
There are too many songs to name here and too many memories that go along with each.
If forced to choose a fave song, I’d have to say Benny and the Jets from Yellow Brick Road. If forced to choose a fave album I’d have to say Captain Fantastic. But those are gun-to-head decisions. So much from that period was great.
What’s your fave Elton John tune?
Everyone knows that SWF* is a standard lingo in the world of personal ads IMglish, but personal ads are swimming in IMglishisms, some of which you may know, others you may not.
It’s important to understand this special IMglish dialect lest you don’t find what you’re looking for, or worse, you end up with something you weren’t looking for.
Look below and see what I mean
BBW - Big Beautiful Woman plus-size and happy with herself
Bi - Bisexual
C - Christian, as in SWCM (Single White Christian Male)
D&S - Dominance and Submission
DDF - Drug and Disease Free
Fet - Fetish
FtM - Female-to-Male Transgendered
FWB - “Friends With Benefits” (friends who have sex without romantic involvement or the expectation thereof)
*Single White Female
That is the question - at the cottage.
Ditto to dishwasher, the blackberry and the TV?
Do you or don’t you - at the cottage.
Are modern conveniences interlopers that bring work and stress to a place that should be free of those things?
Or are they things that give you freedom to be at the cottage?
Where do people stand on this?
It sounds stupid, but it’s true.
When you haven’t done it in 20 years, relaxing is a learned behaviour.
I know other people do it. And I’ve heard it’s good for them. I’ve seen my cat do it. She’s good at relaxing. And relaxing is good for the cat, by all appearances.
But I’m not sure I know how to do it because I’m not in practice. It’s not that I’m a person who thrives on stress. I don’t. My neck and shoulders ache constantly with tension and too much work at the computer.
The aches and stresses are due to circumstances of life for the past 20 years, which have been pretty high-octane: founding and running a business, completing a masters degree, having two children, moving I don’t know how many times with two international moves thrown in for fun, a bunch of different jobs, and late night writing-habit (you know, to keep the sanity.)
I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve heard a lot of women in my phase of life describe these circumstances and symptoms. Some men too. And thanks to some recent and stress-inducing growth in the business, I’ve been able to pull back from an active “doing everything” role to a mentoring, overseeing role. Ahhhh.
This is supposed to allow me to relax, which is great in theory. But how?
I’ve had moments: The other day, I think I relaxed for a half hour at the beach. But then I became distracted and a little stressed by children on water toys not being properly monitored by parents. I can’t relax in that circumstance.
I tried to relax in front of the TV the other night and fell asleep which is a form of relaxing I suppose, but early sleep means waking up in the middle of the night and not falling back to sleep.
Being at the cottage helps, but the anti-relaxing sharks are still nipping at my heels.
I really hope I’m not turning into stress-aholic or a relaxation-phobe.
Any tips? Does anyone know how it’s done?
What do you do to relax?
It’s been a tumultuous couple of weeks in GT-land.
Highs and lows all round.
Roller coaster rides aren’t good for enterprises like blogging. Not good for visiting my dear bloggies either.
But I’m finding my neutral again, as they say in pilates.
I’ll be around to visit all of you.
Thanks for staying with me.
US swimming sensation Dara Torres and is winning short-course events at the Olympic trials this week. But she’s doing more than that. She’s proving that the age barrier can be broken in a demanding sport like swimming.
At the age of 41, she is competing against elite athletes half her age. And she’s winning. She won the 100 M freestyle and as of tonight she won the semi-final for the 50M.
She’s qualified for her fifth Olympics and is set to smash records of age and number of Olympics attended.
The song “American Woman” is being played when she swims. Expect to see her charming face on the cover of magazines in the next few months. Even if she doesn’t win an Olympic medal, she will still be a big-time winner.
As a swimmer, I am both thrilled and nervous about this achievement.
Thrilled because it’ll be great to see Torres become as role model for young girls - as opposed to Britney or Paris who are role models because they are young women behaving badly.
Nervous because age is - or at least, was - the ultimate excuse for under achievement. Now, what’s my excuse?
I’m at the cottage.
WEather’s great - hot and sunny.
The kids are having fun, swimming, tubing, hanging out.
The beach is stunning this year, but the ocean’s still a little nippy.
The jelly fish have arrived. And the mosquitoes! They love me.
We’re getting the blinds up on the windows and getting TV set up for the Olympics this summer.
I’m enjoying sh*t out of this moment because tomorrow I’m going to the funeral of someone who would dearly love to be at the cottage on the beach with her kids right now.
She was 44, smart, dynamic, and always the life of the par-tay. She leaves twin girls aged 14 and their brother, 15. And a big family of brothers, sisters, parents and friends.
I’m so lucky to be here right now. My kids are lucky to be here.
And you are lucky to be there too.
There’s nothing like a holiday to kick off the summer.
There’s beer, barbeques and fireworks, if the weather permits. People know how to do Canada Day when they’re in their own backyard, but when it comes to public celebrations, Canada Day always seems a little awkward to me.*
The trouble is that Canadians aren’t flag-wavers by nature. Our patriotism is more understated than that of our neighbours to the south. Americans celebrate July 4th with gusto, stars and stripes. Canadians tend to be a little embarrassed by the fanfare.
But come Canada Day, they drag out the Maple Leaf flag and try to do the flag-waving patriotism because, well, what else are you supposed to do?
It’s always struck me as a paradox: On one hand, here is a country that is desperate to distinguish itself from its neighbour. But when it celebrates itself, it adopts the very same public shows of celebration as the neighbour it wants to distinguish itself from.
At least at an official level.
You see this with backpackers as well. Canadians will wear a Canadian flag to say they are not American. Yet what is more American than wearing your flag?
Put a Canadian in a hockey rink and that Canadian will know how to be Canadian. But give that Canadian a flag on Canada Day and tell them to wave it, and they will. But it won’t come naturally.
But in our own backyards today, we will know what to do: eat, drink and be merry.
* I observed this Canada Day phenomenon working as an events organizer. You’d give them the government-issue free flags and they’d wave them because that’s what you’re supposed to do, but there was never a lot of conviction. It’s not because Canadians aren’t proud; it’s just that flag-waving isn’t their way of showing it.
