Jul 29
Typist abhors management speak
Cats: Uncategorized|,,, just as nature abhors a vaccuum.
And the new CEO of telecoms company Bell Canada wins the gag-me-with-a-rototiller award for inane management speak
Announcing the lay-off of 2500 jobs, CEO George Cope said:
“It’s obviously most impacting to those pople who will not have work with us going forward.”
Huh, George? Most impacting? Going forward?
Don’t you mean: “it’s a real bummer for all these people are losing their jobs?”
July 29th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Guess who this is meant to be:
“Uh, I’m not prepared to speak on behalf, uh, of those people, uh, who, uh, are experiencing, uh, employment difficulties, uh, as a result of the, uh, industry challenges, uh, until, uh, which time, uh, that, uh, we have all the, uh, data”
I made it up, but it’s supposed to be Brian Mulroney…the master of non-speak.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
“most impacting”
Painful. But, it does give one hope… If that idiot can be a ridiculously over-paid CEO, then maybe I can, too!!
July 29th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Recently, my manager referred to various projects as different ‘buckets’ several times. I had to stop him to ask if this was his own terminology or something he’d been legislated to say. He stopped at once.
I hate this stuff!
July 30th, 2008 at 12:10 am
It’s a good thing those people weren’t being impacted by not going backward, because that would be harder give good spin to.
July 30th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
The org I work for overuses the word “piece” to describe any task, phase, principal, or other segregable unit or time.
The other one that gets me here is “roll up” and “roll out”, which means ’summarize’ and ‘implement’
“We need to roll up the HR piece so that we can roll it out for exec” Arrrgh!
July 30th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
O.k., I may have made up a new word, but I can’t figure out what the proper word is. Segregatable, segregatorable?
July 31st, 2008 at 8:54 am
Feedback at some point became pushback here and it plagues me still.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:09 am
This guy and George W must have the same speechwriter!
July 31st, 2008 at 9:33 am
Facilitated burble burble impact burble burble leveraged burble burble price point burble burble consultaive burble burble bat man
July 31st, 2008 at 9:36 am
Dick, at least BM was talking like normal people - when they’re beating around the bush
PAtrick, but wouldn’t it destroy your soul to talk like that?
Dale, we are at one in hatred of this stuff. Buckets? Is that like silos?
Barbara, you always have a way of getting straight to the core of the matter
July 31st, 2008 at 10:00 am
Dick2, what about rolling over the piece?
Dick3, or segroatality?
Dale, all yes, feedback used to be good, now it’s pushback. You gotta get “buy in” to stop the “push back.”
Deepti, W’s speechwriters aren’t the problem…. it’s what they have to work with
July 31st, 2008 at 11:59 am
Do they have to take a special class to learn how to do ceo double-speak, or does it just come ingrained in over-payed a**holes?
Doc
July 31st, 2008 at 12:30 pm
At least it’s just pople instead of people.