Large “Harper” Collider to bash hell out of politicians
Cats: Uncategorized|It’s the world’s biggest machine with a tunnel 27 km (17 miles) long.
It’s buried beneath the earth under the French Swiss border.
It cost $8 billion to construct and it’s the most sophisticated scientific experiment ever designed.
They fired up the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland yesterday.
Inside this tunnel, they’re bashing the hell out of a bunch of protons, creating and analyzing cataclysmic collisions so they can work out what happened after the Big Bang. They are looking for evidence of dark matter and particles called “stranglets.”
Once they have that figured that out, they should drop in George Bush, Rumsey and Cheney to figure out what happened in America in the moments after the last election. Here too they can discover the political dark matter and strangelet particles that inhabit the brains of these men.
I would also like to see them chuck in Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper to see if they can predict what will happen in Canada if a Neo-Conservative majority gets in.
If Canadians aren’t smart enough to learn from the NeoCon experience of our neighbours to the south, then perhaps the Large Harper Collider can help them figure it out before it’s too late.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Brilliant idea.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
The intense vacuum in Harper’s skull may result in a black hole, sucking in the whole galaxy.
September 11th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Dr. Monkey, let’s do it then.
Dick, wouldn’t that be a great experiment, to empty out the vacuum.
September 12th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Instead of using super colliders, why don’t we just develop a vaccine that could prevent neocon-itis? The program would pay for itself in a matter of merely days, just by eliminating all of those shoulder surgeries and medical misfortunes, that are brought on by repetitive fascist salutes.
September 22nd, 2008 at 8:51 am
Cormac, I just saw this and almost shot my coffee through my nose. repetitive fascist salutes – brilliant