Gifted Typist

I may be hauled up before the Tribunal Investigating UnCanadian Activities (TIUCA?) for saying this, but I’m glad the Royal Canadian Air Farce is airing its last show tonight. The political comedy show has been running on TV and radio for 30 years or more. Maybe it was funny and sharp all those years ago [...]

Tween Christmas and New Year is such a funny ole time. I’m half here and half not. I’m not sure what the day is or the date. I’m not even sure of the time most of the time. I’m half working  and half not. I have no real schedule and zero focus. Spending lots of [...]

Read my Herald column over here. Join me in a boxing match against the manufacturers and retailers who indulge in excessive packaging. Instead of taking the packaging home, just unwrap it at the store. That way the store pays to have it removed. Not you. People in the UK are doing this. They call their [...]

Just took a peek downstairs. Cookies are gone. Bourbon’s been slurped. Presents are all under the tree. Stockings are stuffed. Guess who’s been and gone. Missed him again! Dang. Merry ho ho to everyone. And to everyone a good night.

Almost didn’t make it home for Christmas. We were booked to come home from New York on Sunday Dec 21 but with storms, cancellations, delays, Christmas, overbooked flights, standby, hours in airport lounges … the outlook was bleak. By Monday night, they’d dumped us in Montreal airport and told us we had no hope of [...]

I know. I know. I was just there. In October. But that trip was a screw-up on many levels, even if it was a good time. So this time, I’m doing it up right. (You can correct the mistakes of trips past when you have a bundle of Air Miles points.) All the Typists will [...]

Mystery writer, blogger and Trouble-Maker General  Cormac Brown suggests the “Bogart Collection.” “To Have And Have Not,”1944 “The Big Sleep,”1946 “Dark Pasage,”1947 “Key Largo.”1948 Also hilarious Buggs Bunny short featuring “Bogart” and “Baby.” Allison from Flying Buttresses suggests: All things Billy Wilder and Hepburn (Katherine and Audrey). As for classic holiday films…Christmas Vacation 1989 tops [...]

Read my column over here. Sometimes it’s just easier to let say it with parenthesis. There are so many different ways to celebrate this time of year. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice. Midnight Madness at the Mall. I don’t care. I really don’t. They can celebrate whatever they want, however they want. No one owns [...]

The beer- and word-loving Doc of Social Zymurgy went over and above the call of duty last week in response to my request for recommendations for good old movies. Because his list was extensive, I’m running it as an exclusive. I’m looking forward to watching these flicks, but it’ll probably take more than one Christmas [...]

I’ve been double- tagged by the enigmatic Splotchy and the charming Cormac Brown for the Son of the Son of the Story Virus (V3). Here is how it works: He starts a story and tags a bunch of people to add the next piece on. So I’ve written the second paragraph of the story and [...]

Come on. Is it possible? In this day and age of crowded malls, big box chain stores and homogeneous inventory that is for the most part “made in China.” You’re rushing around, feeling the pressure, battling crowds and watching your credit card balance go up like an express elevator to the top floor. You’re trying [...]

See my Herald column over here. I decided to shortened Christmas this year. It wasn’t allowed to be mentioned in this house until Dec. 1. There was no shopping or planning permitted  before that date. (Party invitations were exempted from this rule.) When Christmas starts in October, you are sick of it by Dec. 1. [...]

I planned to go big on the eve of my 10,000th spam message. I wanted to post that message and celebrate with you. I was going to have colourful balloons, fortified wine and potato salad left over from last summer. Mmmmm. But alas, I forgot. You know, stupid things like work, little typists, sleep. These [...]

As an old bluesman of my acquaintance once said: “It don’t matter what they’re saying, as long as they’re talking about you.” Well, Canada, nobody else is talking about your “Made in Canada*” political crisis. And that’s because nobody really cares. Yesterday, the American ambassador to Canada said as much when he shrugged his shoulders [...]

I’m throwing out a request here for some good old-movie suggestions. This is one of my favourite Christmas traditions but I’m running a little low ideas. I don’t necessarily mean Christmas movies, although I’m always a sucker for It’s a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart which isn’t just a schmaltzy holiday movie but a dark [...]