Mar 13
Happy Birthday Barbie
Cats: slack woman|You’re 50, Dollface. You never looked so good.
That face, those legs, the waist. And no double chin! At 50.
But what about hot flashes? Hmmm, Babs?
And liposuction? And Botox? Are you sure that 22-year old face and body of yours are entirely natural, Doll?
Because people are talking. You should hear what the Bratz dolls are saying and that sweet little Dora the Explorer.Don’t be fooled, Doll. That little Dora’s vicious.
If you’re not careful, they’ll take you down.
And that would be such a shame because you’re better than them, Babs. They won’t live to 50. But you’ll live to 100.
So watch your back.
March 13th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Oh, I love me some Barbie. She and the Cabbage Patch kids were the only dolls I ever liked. Fact.
When I tell people I was obsessed with Barbie as a child, they tend to give me the up-and-down and say something along the lines of “riiiiight… but you’re over that now…”
March 13th, 2009 at 11:15 am
The women in my family were never big on Barbies. Not myself or my sisters. Even our children weren’t able to muster anything but the most minimal interest and that involved chopping off Barbie’s hair and subequently her head. There was no reverence for Barbie. Now Dragonball Z, they put up shrines to that. Go figure.
March 13th, 2009 at 11:32 am
She’s obviously had some work done.
March 13th, 2009 at 11:43 am
My favourite Barbie was SNL’s Gangsta Bitch Barbie. I think it was them that told me Dora was a carpetmuncher too. Oh my. You’ve seen the Cougar Barbie video I’m guessing?
March 13th, 2009 at 11:51 am
I never had a Barbie doll, but I remember blowing up my friends sister’s Barbie with fire crackers. We weren’t really targetting Barbie, it’s just that we had already blown up our GI Joes and Big Jim’s.
March 13th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Oh my. And to think she is all that fabulousness with a word embossed on her bottom, too.
March 14th, 2009 at 1:17 am
Do you know how confusing it is to have the same name and age as the world’s most famous doll? And yet, we seem to have suffered different fates. I believe that I am Barbie’s Portrait of Dorian Grey.
March 14th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
So GT fess up! How many Barbie’s did you own?
March 15th, 2009 at 2:01 am
Never had a Barbie…I was more of a Strawberry Shortcake person. Or lego. I heart lego.