Archive for the 'Canada' Category

Happy Canada Day, eh

Published July 1, 2008 in Canada and culture. 7 Comments

There’s nothing like a holiday to kick off the summer.

There’s beer, barbeques and fireworks, if the weather permits. People know how to do Canada Day when they’re in their own backyard, but when it comes to public celebrations, Canada Day always seems a little awkward to me.*

The trouble is that Canadians aren’t flag-wavers by nature. Our patriotism is more understated than that of our neighbours to the south. Americans celebrate July 4th with gusto, stars and stripes. Canadians tend to be a little embarrassed by the fanfare.

But come Canada Day, they drag out the Maple Leaf flag and try to do the flag-waving patriotism because, well, what else are you supposed to do?

It’s always struck me as a paradox: On one hand, here is a country that is desperate to distinguish itself from its neighbour. But when it celebrates itself, it adopts the very same public shows of celebration as the neighbour it wants to distinguish itself from.

At least at an official level.

You see this with backpackers as well. Canadians will wear a Canadian flag to say they are not American. Yet what is more American than wearing your flag?

Put a Canadian in a hockey rink and that Canadian will know how to be Canadian. But give that Canadian a flag on Canada Day and tell them to wave it, and they will. But it won’t come naturally.

But in our own backyards today, we will know what to do: eat, drink and be merry.

* I observed this Canada Day phenomenon working as an events organizer. You’d give them the government-issue free flags and they’d wave them because that’s what you’re supposed to do, but there was never a lot of conviction. It’s not because Canadians aren’t proud; it’s just that flag-waving isn’t their way of showing it.

RIP Hockey Night in Canada

Published June 9, 2008 in Canada. 12 Comments

CBC TV have let the iconic Hockey Night in Canada theme go. To their competitor CTV.

If ever there was an institution that united this big country, it was the Hockey Night in Canada theme. For the past 40 years, it opened and closed CBC hockey games. Many of us grew up with it on Saturday nights.

To give my American friends an idea of the seriousness, this would be like losing “God Bless America” to, say, Guatemala.

God Bless Guatemala. No.

The catchy Hockey Night in Canada tune stirs the heart and soul of many a Canadian in a way that this country’s boring staid national anthem could never do.

If I were a CBC negotiator I would have moved heaven and earth to protect their rights to the theme because it’s more than just a hockey song; it’s an anthem of national identity.

People will still tune into CBC TV’s Hockey Night in Canada, but they will always remember how CBC lost the theme and it will be very difficult for the public broadcaster to earn their forgiveness.

And at a time when many long knifes are out for CBC TV, this wound could be fatal.

Let’s hope not.

Your Rogers bill is available

Published June 9, 2008 in Canada. 8 Comments

… but Rogers is not.

That was the situation this morning when I logged on to pay my bill.

Because I’m on a personal campaign to slay the rip-off dragons of the Canadian cell phone industry, I take every opportunity to stick a needle in their eye.

I signed onto their website this morning after they phoned yesterday to remind me that my bill was  overdue. There were lots of virtuous apple-pie-and-motherhood statements about “service in a secure environment 24/7.”

But when I attempted to pay my bill in this 24/7 service environment, I was told that

Rogers is unavilable for a planned upgrade as part of our continuous efforts to improve your service with Rogers.com … blah blah blah…

I don’t begrudge the occasional take-down of service but I do begrudge the 24/7 promise, particularly when it comes from a Canadian cell phone rip-off artist like Rogers.

Americans and Europeans laugh at the way Canadians are charged. We pay three times the rate, depending on where you look to compare. It is nothing short of highway robbery. And cell phone barons are getting rich off our failure to kick up a stink. Americans would never stand for it.

So come on Canadians, drop the nice act for just once and give em hell. Otherwise we’ll look like patsies, poor patsies.

I am a Canadian Idol virgin

Published June 4, 2008 in Canada and culture. 18 Comments

OK, I admit it. I am no longer an American Idol virgin.

I watched the show this year beginning-to-end. And I must say, I enjoyed it, thanks in no small part to the excellent and hilarious post-show deconstructions of BeckEye and Chancelucky. (And of course, Michael Johns who’s demise came far too soon.)

But when it comes to Canadian Idol, I’m still pure as driven snow.

It is yet to be seen whether I will go all the way with Canadian Idol. I’m not normally big on summer time TV watching and what with the Olympics coming up this summer - it could be iffy.

But last night I sat down in earnest for my first CI show. Season 6 kicked off with the usual crop of wouldbes, couldbes and wannbes.

For my American friends who don’t see it, Canadian Idol is more or less a clone of its American big brother. You have the same format, look and music. The big difference is that Canadian Idol has four judges, not three: Jake Gold, Sass Jordan, Farley Flex and Zack Werner.

Not sure why - it adds unnecessary bulk to the show and there is the spectre of a tie.

It seems there are two Simons, one being the enforcer, Jake, the other delivering the brutal lines, Zack. “You sound like Alvin without the Chipmunks,” Zack said to one hapless wannabe last night. Girl rocker Sass is the Paula, although I daresay a more articulate and together Paula. And Farly is the Randy.

Then there is the slick, tanned host Ben Mulroney who is no Ryan Seacrest. I’ve blogged on Ben before and will leave him alone. For now.

It was my impression last night that the judges went out of their way to be either brutal or excessive in their praise. Their rude laughter at auditions struck me as too loud for Night One, too intense and quick off the mark. It didn’t ring true, somehow. We need to warm up to judges before we can accept their more extreme reactions.

The auditions took place in Toronto, Calgary and Edmonton. If you got through this round, you emerged with your gold ticket screaming “I’m going to Toronto!” For some reason this struck me as comical. Not sure why.

Auditions included the predictable screeching on stage, the tearful I’ve-worked-so-hard-you-gotta-let-me-through, the off-key stuff, and the weirdness.And what would Idol be without the weirdness?

There were a few notables, Earl from Lloydminster for example. By day, he works at Bob’s Backhoe and by night he projects his passion on his music. He sang Heard it on the Grapevine which wasn’t bad. The judges fawned. Not sure if he deserved the high-octane fawning he received.

There were brothers Oliver and Sebastian Pigott who were also OK, but I wasn’t moved in the same way as the judges, who said one of brothers was the best audition ever on Canadian Idol.

Then there was 17-year old Brianne Chalifour from Leoville, Saskatchewan.

“What year is it in Leoville?” asks Zack, commenting on the ill-conceived get-up worn by the small-town teenager trying to look like a rocker. True, she was over-the-top with jungle garb that brought to mind American Idol’s Amanda Overmeyer. But Zack’s comment was another example of the unnecessary brutality. It was the first night and she was obviously a young and naive girl. Even Simon wouldn’t have gone for a low blow like that.

Brianne sang Heart’s “Barracuda.” Not bad, not great. When it didn’t look likely that she’d get though, Brianne cried and begged. She needed this to help her grow up, she wailed, tears streaming down her made-up face.

The judges recanted and put her through.

“I don’t think you have a hope in hell of making it to the Top 10, but I think it will be a life-changing opportunity for you so on that note Brianne, pick up the ticket kid because you’re coming to Toronto,” says Zack.

OK I may be a sap on the dissing of her clothes, but if Brianne doesn’t deserve to be put through based on talent, then don’t put her through. If this is the criteria for Canadian Idol, then I don’t know if I’m going all the way.

But the real problem with the show was the vibe, or lack thereof.

On the first night, you need to feel that you’re embarking on a journey with these people. They are your travel mates, sometimes friends and sometimes not. For better or for worse, it should be an adventure and you should feel the excitement and anticipation for what is to come.

But I didn’t get that last night on Canadian Idol. It left me neutral, cold and flat.

The little typists expressed this too, only they put it more bluntly. “Don’t know if we’ll bother with this next week.”

We shall see.

Words that should be banned: Happy Monday!!!!

Published May 5, 2008 in CBC Radio, Canada and words. 11 Comments

Call me a miserable SOB, but I cannot stand the chirpy, cutesy little “Happy Monday!” greeting.

Ditto Happy Tuesday-Sunday.

I don’t mind Thank God It’s Friday, or (Tell me why) I Don’t Like Mondays. I don’t mind Good Day or Hello, either. I don’t even mind Eff Off, if it’s delivered with a modicum of flare.

But Happy Monday irks me. It’s a bossy busybody greeting, part of that glib-everybody-pretend-you’re-happy movement that has swamped N. American society.

When I hear “Happy Monday” I just want to say No. That’s it. Just No.

No. No. No.

This little glibism seems to be infecting our national public broadcaster. You hear “Happy [insert day of week] ” often on the CBC’s Q program, the national arts and culture afternoon show. I gather this is supposed to pass for wit.

And our local afternoon CBC program splatters its patter with “Happy Monday!” greetings. (And there IS always an exclamation point! or three!!!) These Happy greetings are generally followed by little bouts of shallow laughter at unfunny things. Hahahaha!!!!!!!

Happy Monday is “bland”, “vacuous”, “insincere” and “insipid.”

Dump it. Kill it. Now.

Was it Newton or Einstein who stated:

Published April 24, 2008 in Canada and blogs. 16 Comments

That if you get your snow tires taken off on April 23rd, there will be snow in the forecast on April 24th.

Sorry I forget the physics genius who worked out the Law of Springtime Road Rubber Change and Frozen Precipitation.

But I do know that it is a cause-and-effect action.

Change tires = snow.

I awoke this morning to the words “wet snow” on the radio.

Why don’t I ever learn?

Here’s a bright idea, School Board

Published April 23, 2008 in Canada. 13 Comments

Why don’t you just make it easy on everyone and tell us the days you WILL be available to teach our kids.

You could just say that schools will be open this day and that day and this day. It would be so much easier than splattering our schedules with closings and early dismissals. That’s so negative.

Most parents work for a living and have to make alternate arrangements when school’s aren’t available to teach our kids. What with professional development, union meetings and report cards, you can hardly be expected not to close as often as you do.

Next week, you’re closing schools for two days in a row. And of course there’s no economic impact, inconvenience or problem for the tax-paying, working parent who just somehow finds a workaround to accommodate those days.

So wouldn’t it be easier and more positive just to say when you’ll be opened. That way we would make permanent arrangements, you know, to accommodate you on the days you aren’t available to teach.

Far be if from me to suggest that you do your professional development in July or August. Everyone knows that the reason schools are closed for those months each year is so that children can help their parents around the farm. And it goes without saying that teachers and school board employees are busy on the farm too.

We wouldn’t want to use empty school buildings for educational purposes in summer because that could lead to a collapse of our agrarian society. And we couldn’t have that.

So just tell us when you’re schedule fits with the teaching and leave all the other non-teaching day arrangements to the taxpayer with children.

OK, School Board?

Happy Earth Day

Published April 22, 2008 in Canada and environment. 12 Comments

This day marks the birth of the modern environmental movement which began in 1970.

Back then, the issues were pollution, extinction of wildlife, construction of freeways and dumping raw sewage into the ocean. Today the issues are more focused on global warming and clean energy.

Days like Earth Day do create awareness and momentum but political leaders are the “deaf, dumb and blind kids” of the environmental movement. (Canada just cut its environment department budget by $50M. Ah, leadership!)

Neither Earth Day nor our visionless political leaders will stop our hyper-consumption and oil-guzzling ways. That will happen when the supply of oil declines.

Just last week I read that the CEO of Total - one of the biggest oil companies in the world - is worried that global supply of oil is not keeping up with global demand. Think tanks have predicted that this scenario will result in rising fuel prices and food prices.

Hmmmm. This is happening now all over the world right now, isn’t it?

Me? I hang out my clothes, turn off the heat, click off lights, stay away from malls and take the bus.

I like doing this stuff but I don’t think it makes much difference. I think the laws of supply and demand will rule the day and achieve some of the goals of Earth Day.

Spiders ‘n webs

Published April 16, 2008 in Canada, beauty and photos. 17 Comments

Go here to view this set in Flickr.

Early one sunny August morning, I turned off the highway to take a picture of a beautiful still lake. The lake was pretty, but it was in the field next to the lake that I stumbled upon gold.

There were hundreds of spiders’ webs*, their gossamer fibers sparkling with the dew.

It was like entering a fun park with only ferris wheels or walking through a diamond farm. I had to pick my jaw up off the ground and for two or three short seconds, I was speechless. (And this speaks volumes.)

I only had my 17-40 wide angle so photographing these webs meant getting close. Many of these shots were zoom cropped for a close-up view of the dew.

Spiders are fantastic engineers, but I never realized they were such gifted artists too.

If I had to make a top-ten list of the best moments in my life, this would be right up there on that list.

* Keen GT followers will recall some of these pictures from previous incarnation of GT.

Terrorists? Seal hunt protesters?

Published April 14, 2008 in Canada. 11 Comments

Newfoundland Premier Danny Williams is describing the seal-hunt protesters as terrorists.

Excuse me, Mr. Williams? Terrorists?

Is that like the terrorists who hijacked the planes and flew into the Twin Towers killing thousands of people? Or is it like the suicide bombers who sometimes blow themselves up in Baghdad markets, taking 30 or 40 or 60 innocents with them?

Exactly what kind of terrorists do you mean, Mr. Williams?

The captain and first mate of the seal-hunt protest vessel Farley Mowat were arrested after the Canadian Coast Guard boarded their ship on the weekend.

Mr. Williams may not agree with the seal protesters or support the form of their protest, but these people have not killed anyone or committed any act that could be described as terrorism.

Regardless of your position on the seal hunt, this sort of inflated diction is an insult to the victims of real terrorists and real terrorism.

This drama is receiving much international attention. We can only hope that this self-interested, clumsy overstatement will not land all of Canada with black eye.

Ice on the water

Published April 13, 2008 in Canada. 17 Comments

Go here to see photos in Flickr

In winter, the ocean near my cottage ices over and you can literally walk on water - frozen water.

The ice has mostly broken up now except for the sculptural schlogs that I found drifting slowly across the still water on Sunday. In the mist and against a moody sky that changed by the minute, it made for some interesting photographs.

My favourite shot is the natural ice sculpture that looks like a pig doing a head stand in the water. In another shot, you can see a typist bravely testing her rubber boots in the icy waters. They kept my feet dry, but the rubber boots couldn’t stop the coldness from seeping through.

And if you stopped and listened you could hear the drip drip drip of the ice melting. Spring!

Earth Hour was dark

Published March 30, 2008 in Canada, environment and politics. 21 Comments

We ate by candlelight last night, joining in with the millions who participated in Earth Hour. The little typists were keen, possessed with a sense of urgency. “We have to do this for the environment!”

I was glad to see their energy. I’ve been hanging out clothes, turning down the heat, flicking off lights, buying energy-efficient appliances and light bulbs, measuring kilowatt-hour usage, dumping second car, taking the bus and trying to reduce my carbon shoe size since the Kyoto Protocol.

I picked up many of these habits while living in Europe. But since returning to Canada I learned to keep my Kyoto habit in the closet. I’ve been overly sensitive to WTF looks and sneers. “You. Hang. Out. Clothes? You. Take. The. Bus? Weird.”

Strange how “normal” elsewhere is bizarre here. Even stranger because I used to think of Canada as such a environmentally aware country.

I still have a way to go. March trips south. Car ownership. Yesterday I bought snow peas from Guatemala.

I am convinced the world will reduce its dependence on fossil fuels, but it won’t be because of Earth Hour or environmental concerns. It will be due to the laws of supply and demand.

One of these days, it will be declared that we’ve reach the dreaded peak. And then stand by for the $200 per barrel of oil and the $300 per barrel.

It was only four years ago that I read a report from a credible oil and gas think tank predicting the $100-barrel of oil. It seemed impossible at the time, like some futuristic dystopia. The think tank predicted it would take 10 years to reach this point.

I’m not an armageddonist. There’s lots of sunshine, wind, tides, waves and geothermal energy supplies. (But not biofuels - they do more damage than good.)But that will take a massive shift in attitude and investment into innovation. You’re seeing this in Germany right now with massive investments into alternative energy R&D.

In my little neck of the woods, the visionless, small-minded politicians are talking about increasing the number of bridges and expanding road infrastructure to get more cars on an already crowded finite little peninsula on which my city is built.

They want to build a fossil-fuel dependent Atlantic Gateway mega-port to receive goods shipped from China - the long way round - and then truck and railroad them to Wal Marts in middle America. The myopia defies logic and beggars belief.

But Earth Hour is a good idea despite these people and because of them. Its aim is to  get people thinking differently and maybe changing some of their habits. It’s a bottom-up movement.

It’s a good idea to do this voluntarily before we are forced to do it.

What do you do with an old oil storage tank?

Published March 12, 2008 in Canada, culture, odd things, photos and travels. 7 Comments

Well, you convert it into a bar and grill, of course. Or at least that’s what they do here at Flippers..I’d heard of this place but didn’t really believe until I spotted it with my own eyes one day. It is located about an hour and a half’s drive from my house. Luckily I had my camera that day, otherwise no one would have believed it.

Flippers was closed on this particular day, but some day I will walk into that oil storage tank, slap down a fiver on the bar and order a beer from Flippers.

Someday.

RIP Jeff Healey

Published March 3, 2008 in CBC Radio, Canada and music. 14 Comments

Waking up this morning to news of Jeff Healey’s death was like getting mugged and whacked over the head with a 2 x 4. I still have the stars circling over my head. I feel sick about it.

This amazing blues and jazz musician and musicologist died from cancer at 41. I didn’t even know he had a relapse of the disease that robbed him of his eyesight when he was just a young child.

I saw Jeff Healey rip up the blues guitar a number of times in the 80s and 90s. He was one of those musicians who made you smile until your face hurt. His hit Angel Eyes was sweet, growly and soulful. In the right mood, it could bring tears to your eyes.

And I listened that base-tone voice talking jazz and blues on his CBC radio show. He was an authority on old jazz and blues and drew on a vinyl collection of over 30,000 records.

He was a musician’s musician and played with likes of Stevie Ray Vaughan, George Harrison and B.B. King.

He was about to release a new album called A Mess of Blues.

Jeff Healey was a young talent with an old soul. We are going to miss him.

Can someone - anyone - please explain Ben Mulroney?

Published February 24, 2008 in Canada. 21 Comments

Ben is Canada’s answer to Ryan Seacrest. Ryan hosts American Idol. Ben hosts Canadian Idol.

But there is a difference: Ryan is funny, witty and genuine. Ben is shallow, sycophantic and slippery.

His insincere delivery was an embarrassment on the pre-Oscar red carpet. In response to some stupidism that fell out of his mouth, Oscar nominee Ellen Page replied with an ice-cold and withering: “Ben Mulroney, you are one smart guy.” She could have won the Oscar for that.

Someone else - a man wearing glasses (I’m sorry I didn’t catch his name) - accused Ben of spouting cliche, which of course he was.

OK, he can’t help who his father is. But even without that, Ben Mulroney is toe-curlingly embarrassing, especially when he leaves our country and starts waving the Maple Leaf flag as he did on the Oscar red carpet.

Imagine if people thought all Canadians were like Ben Mulroney? Luckily no one outside of Canada knows who he is, but the flag-waving does scream “Canadian” so the rest of us end up wearing him.

So please, someone, explain the appeal of this man, Ben Mulroney. Because I’m at a loss and my toes are hurting from curling under with embarrassment.