How we are going to miss Leslie Nielsen.

He had a way of seeing the world through for its absurdities.

He helped us see them and laugh at them – and ourselves.

The king of deadpan may be gone, but the world he saw will always be with us.

Long live Leslie Nielsen.

Here is my column on him this week.

Each year products in stores are swathed in pink to support breast cancer research. Corporations donate a proportion of profits.

But there’s a backlash brewing against the pink campaign. And it’s happening on many levels.

Some stores cap their donations.

Some pink products contain ingredients or produce emissions linked to breast cancer risk.

Some people think the annual pink blitz crowds out efforts to raise awareness and funding for other cancers and diseases.

Here is my column on the subject

Yup, apparently fakes lack the jiggle factor necessary for the authentic 18-century wench.

The makers of the movie was the real thang, with all the bounce and to-and-fro.

See more about this in my Herald column

Yes people, it’s no longer enough to have your downstairs region hot waxed, defoliated, tattooed and pierced.
Now you need crystals “down there.”

For more on this development,  link to my column here.

Had H1N1 in the house this week.The younger typist went down with it.

It wasn’t pretty, but it was manageable, just about. He has no underlying condition.

At one point his temperature zoomed up to 104F. That scared me and we almost went to hospital.

But the fever meds knocked it back and we didn’t have to make the trip.

After about 8 days of being sicker than I’d even seen him, he started recovering.

Just about back to normal now. The other little typist had it the week before but not so severely.

So we’re out of the woods now, unless H1N1 comes knocking at my door.

Photoshopgate.

It’s the case of the model who was digitally disfigured for the Ralph Lauren ad.

We’ve been banging on for years about about the way the fashion industry is turning models into stick insects and toothpick people.

Well now, with this ad, we know the truth.

The fashion business really does want models to be inhumanly thin.

And if they can’t achieve that by starving and purging, then the fashion business will simply doctor up their images.

The rest is in my column

Soccer Mom’s history!

Or at least that’s what the guy who invented her is saying.

Back in 1996 when Soccer Mom was first invented, she was part of a big tribe that acted, shopped and voted along predictable lines.

People like Karl Rove – George Bush’s special adviser – took advantage of this to get votes. Rove was masterful at slicing and dicing the population and creating policy to appeal to them and get their votes.

But today Soccer Mom is dying because the Internetz is smashing the big tribe into a million little niches, pieces and interests. And women – bless them – are realizing that there’s more to life their children and their extracurricular activities.

Which begs the question: Didn’t women realize that back in the 60s? Just asking.

I, for one, couldn’t be happier. I’ve never been a This- or a That mom. I’m merely a typist who happens to have children.

So RIP Soccer Mom.  And good riddance.

One was at the back up a steep pitch. Wheel barrowing was impossible so I had to carry the dirt I ordered uphill in five-gallon buckets, two at a time, like a packmule.

Six yards of dirt. Do you know how much dirt that is? Think a Mount Kilimanjaro-sized mountain and you’re getting close.

I’m populating the borders with plants now, plants that are on sale because I’m late.

Ah, the early bird gets the worm, but the late bird gets the garden transplants on sale.

You’ve heard about the by-law that says don’t feed the ducks.

Well, I think there should be a similiar by-law that says don’t feed the politicians.

Feeding the ducks just encourages them.  Ditto politicians.

Feeding the ducks makes them dependent on you. Ditto the politicians.

Feeding the ducks puts the ducks at increased risk of malnutrition, choking and disease. Ditto the politicians.

So the next time your in a water park or on the street, don’t feed the politicians, or the ducks.

They may not like it, but they will thank you someday.

I’m fascinated by the one-upmanship in the mega-family reality TV.

First there was Jon and Kate Plus 8 with their set of twins and set of sextuplets. That seemed a lot at the time.

Then we had the Hayes family in Table for Twelve. They have two sets of twins and one set of sextuplets. Makes me think they should be having a set of dont’-have-anymore sextuplets.

And now we have the Big Daddy of all TV mega-families, the Duggars. They have, gulp, 18 kids and only one of those births was twins. That show is called 18 kids and Counting which leaves us with the disconcerting possibility they may have more on the way.

Egads!

Never mind getting them out to extra-curricular activities or giving them quality “parenting”, I can’t imagine how the parents can even remember their names.

And these families have a full-time TV production crew in their homes.

I’m fearful of what is yet to come with this trend and I’m wondering if there aren’t by-laws to regulate the size of these families, like we have for cats and dogs.