Gifted Typist

Real estate agents like to market homes. Homes are featured in Homes sections of newspapers. Home renovations make popular TV programs, especially when they are conducted by people by the name of Holmes. Well, no, actually. The structure that is bought and sold is a house. The thing that is renovated is a house, not [...]

I keep hearing the word “community” being used in new and creative ways. We have the “international community” reacting to the crackdown in Burma. We have the “gaming community” embracing Halo3. And last week I heard a reference to the “Halo3 community.” I’m not sure what the Halo3 community was doing but I’d hazard a [...]

Last week the Gifted Typist asked if “hey” is the new “hi”. Today a Toronto newspaper published a piece on the very same subject. Hmmmmmm. The words are not the same, but it is curious that the piece should appear so soon after GT’s post. Shall we sue? Thanks to the etymological work, historical citations [...]

The last few weeks I’ve been noticing “hey” or “hey there” being used to open certain CBC programs – as in “Hey there, welcome to Q.” This leads a typist to wonder if “hey” isn’t replacing “hi” as a casual greeting. I first noticed the Hey-for-Hi transposition on the TV program Friends, as in: Ross [...]

And while we’re at it, let’s junk the cap Ws in World Wide Web, and cap E in email. I’ve never understood the maniacal attachment to capital letters for all things related to the internet. We don’t use a cap T for telephone, R for radio or railroad, cap Ps for pencil and paper and [...]

Because today’s job is preparing my quarterly HST return for the Canadian Revenue Agency, I am battling a strong urge to slit my wrists. So, for the sake of the little typists, I will take a little break and share with you ten things I learned on my recent visit to Toronto. 1. The meaning [...]

In this 21st-century post-modern era, we do things because we can. Watching a movie on an iPod, for example. I CAN do this on my iPod, but why would I want to see Pirates III on a 2 by 2 inch screen when I can watch it on a 42 inch screen, for example? Ditto [...]

Want to solve your password problem? Then follow the directions of GT’s star commentator Dick. Do a spring clean on your brain. Dump the things you don’t need like names of people you knew in high school, friends’ kids and pets. You can even dump the birthdays and anniversaries although that might get you in [...]

Ernest Hemingway 1899-1961 Birthplace: Oak Park, Illinois Typewriter: Corona No. 3 & No.4*, Underwood Noiseless Portable*, various Royal portables*, Halda portable (recently sold in an online auction) Hemingway started his career as a writer in a newspaper office in Kansas City at the age of seventeen. Before the United States entered the First World War, [...]

Here is what men say in personal ads. Sure he’s 40ish, good-looking and likes to cuddle. And can I sell you some swamp land in Florida? What men say What men mean 40-ish 52, looking for 25-yr-old babe Athletic Sits on the couch and watches ESPN Average looking Ugly, unusual hair growth on ears, nose, [...]

Hey all you slabs of meet! Pack your bags, beer and shotguns. You’re going on a mancation! But don’t forget your fake bake and no DWT. Here are your buzzwords for this week. DWT: Driving While Texting. It’s become a such a concern that the Arizona State Legislature is considering a bill to make it [...]

Imglish is a real-time language. Often you’re back and forth with someone on another computer or mobile phone. It’s important to let the other person know when you are leaving so as not to leave them hanging. My favourite sign-off is ttfn or ta ta for now, a Britishism in circulation long before the days [...]

Sometimes an old word just won’t do. And sometimes the old word just doesn’t exist. Sometimes language evolves because it has to. And other times it evolves because it’s more fun to say nastygram than rude letter. Nastygram – a letter/notice of slightly obnoxious content – it seems usually used in reference to spammed copyright [...]

You’ve heard of mixing your metaphors. Well, how about blending your idioms: That book was a real “page-burner.” Or  “I guess that’s how the cookie bounces.” An idiom blend isn’t a mixed metaphor or a malapropism, exactly. It’s the union of two similar phrases to make a third phrase. For example: Page turner + barn [...]

Rumour has it that the Prince William and Kate Middleton bust-up has to do with class. He’s a royal; she’s a middle class gal who uses the word “toilet” which is considered very middle class. Well, everyone, including the royals, has a bladder and everyone occasionally has to empty it. But what do you call [...]